Tests, assessments, evaluation, grades and even professional opinions all have their place. And because many of these uncover the deficits and challenges a child has in order to qualify for services...it can be easy for parents to get caught up in a negative perception of their child.
At some point, parents can feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness for their child's future. Depending on the severity of the disability, the lack of finding supportive services, a stressful life change, or even managing everyday family life in addition to the challenges is hard even for the most capable parent. Following the initial diagnosis, some parents can experience a sense of grief of what they thought their family life was going to be) Coping with Grief After an Autism Diagnosis) and become anxious at the thought of all the work, time and energy they will have to commit to. Some parents go into complete denial. Other parents are relieved and are ready to give it all they got.
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When you're being told over and over what deficits your child has or you see how different they are from their peers, it's easy to get discouraged. The secret is to keep results of tests, assessments and evaluations in perspective. Your child is more than their disability or their diagnosis. These tools are for making sure your child gets the assistance they need to live and function in society. Remember, your child is unique in their personality and abilities. Although there are a few examples of "autistic savants" who excel at a specific task, there are many more examples of children with ASD, even categorized as low-functioning, who exceed expectations when they are given a non-verbal test or exposed to something of great interest to them. It's proven time and again that presuming competence (ability to learn) and increasing motivation causes a boost towards reaching goals. A common example that professionals share is when their client goes on a really fun vacation like Disney, the clients approach their tasks with so much enthusiasm there is a significant spike in improvement. It's just one example and it doesn't have to be a vacation. It's about dialing up the "FUN" factor.
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Temple Grandin advocates kids' exposure to many different situations. When there are enough positive experiences to new things, children with ASD can become less triggered to new things and places. She also advocates building a work ethic so these kids learn to be a productive member of society. There is self-confidence in work practices. Kids learn what they can do instead of what they can't. Just as academics are important, after school activities and developing interests that are reinforcing are also important.
 
We are just scratching the surface of seeing what these kids are capable of. Therapies and practices are constantly being tweaked to bring out the best of these individuals. We are still learning the capabilities of the Autistic brain.
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Temple Grandin: What's Right with the Autistic Mind By focusing on deficits, we overlook the strengths of brains built differently. Focusing on further developing their unique strengths and finding supports for the areas of struggle can positively influence a child's future outcome in so many ways.