Helping Your Teen Build Social Skills

Social skills are important for every teen—but for teens with autism, they often take extra support and practice. These skills can help them make friends, feel more confident and connect with others in school and beyond.

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Here’s what caregivers need to know:

1. Why Social Skills Matter

Social skills help teens:

• Make and keep friends

• Work in groups

• Understand emotions (theirs and others’)

• Feel more included at school and in the community

Good social skills also support mental health and independence as your teen grows into adulthood.

2. Social Goals in the IEP

If your teen has an IEP (Individualized Education Program), social goals can be written into it. These might include:

• Starting conversations

• Taking turns in a group

• Reading body language or facial expressions

• Coping with rejection or teasing

Tip: Ask the IEP team to include measurable social goals and support (like a social skills group or peer buddy system at school).

3. Making Friends Outside of School

It’s easy to get stuck in a routine, especially if your teen spends most of their time at home. Here’s how to help them connect with others outside the classroom:

• Find shared-interest groups (e.g., video games, robotics, art, or animals)

• Try community programs for teens with disabilities

• Volunteer together – low-pressure socializing with a purpose

• Invite a peer to do something simple (like a movie, game night, or short outing)

Start small. One good interaction can build confidence for the next.

4. Social Skills Therapies That Help

Many therapies focus on building social skills in fun, structured ways:

• Speech therapy – supports communication and social language

• Occupational therapy – helps with self-regulation and social routines

• ABA therapy (Applied Behavior Analysis) – often includes social goals

• Social skills groups – led by therapists or counselors, often with peers

• Drama therapy or improv – builds flexibility and communication

Ask your teen’s therapist or school counselor what’s available locally.

5. Navigating School Friendships

Making and keeping friends at school can be tough. Here’s how to support your teen:

• Role-play tricky situations (e.g., how to join a group or ask to hang out)

• Teach social scripts – short phrases to help with greetings, small talk, or asking questions

• Help them notice social cues (like tone of voice or facial expressions)

• Stay in touch with school staff – teachers or aides can support your teen during social times like lunch or group work

6. Small Steps, Big Change: Escaping the Isolation Trap with Autism

Motivation can be hard, especially for teens who feel nervous or if they've had challenging social experiences.

Try:

• Gentle encouragement, not pressure

• Involving them in choosing activities

• Setting small, realistic goals (like 30 minutes of activity outside the house)

• Celebrating progress, no matter how small

You might say, “Let’s try this one time—if it’s not a good fit, we’ll try something else.”

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Final Thoughts

Social skills don’t always come naturally—but with support, teens with autism can build real, meaningful friendships. Be patient. Celebrate small wins. Stay connected with your teen and the people helping them grow.

You’re not alone—and neither are they.