Inclusion vs. Belonging: A Caregiver’s Reflection

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For years, we’ve heard about the importance of inclusion—at school, in programs, and in our communities. And while inclusion is a step in the right direction, I’ve come to understand that inclusion alone is not enough.

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Inclusion often means being allowed into a space. Belonging means being welcomed and valued in that space, just as you are.

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This distinction became clear to me through personal experience. Growing up, I remember how my family, as part of the Slovak community here in the Lehigh Valley, often chose not to bring my brother—who has an intellectual and developmental disability—to certain gatherings. But there were special places and people who genuinely embraced him. They didn’t mind his differences. They didn’t expect him to change who he was.

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And what happened in those spaces? He was calm. Regulated. At peace.

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The truth is, people with autism are deeply sensitive to the emotional energy around them. When they sense discomfort, pity, or quiet resistance, it can manifest in their behavior. When they’re placed in environments where they’re technically “included” but not truly accepted, it creates an unspoken tension—and they feel it.

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I spent years meditating on this. And now I know: it’s not about whether someone is included among neurotypical peers. It’s about finding those spaces—regardless of age, background, or diagnosis—where they are met with kindness, patience, and genuine acceptance.

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Whether it's a group of elders, young kids, peers with disabilities, or a mix of people—what matters most is this:

• Are they seen, accepted, and celebrated for who they are?

 

That’s the foundation of true belonging.

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As caregivers, let’s look beyond boxes to check and programs to join. Let’s seek—and create—communities where our loved ones don’t just participate, but where they belong.